Gorilla, Writing

Why I'm a Moderate...

2010-10-30T10:39:00.003-06:00

For the past several months, I've been trying to get fellow moderates to pick a day for a moderate blogging blitz. I ultimately chose today because it coincides with Jon Stewart's rally, the concept of which is the exact reason I think moderates need to speak up. On both sides of the aisle there is too much vitriol, too much conflict and rancor, and so I will tell you why I'm a moderate in hopes it might help some to "take it down a notch for America."

First, though, it bears mentioning that being moderate is not another way of saying being apathetic. It doesn't mean being lazy. It doesn't mean being weak. It requires more work than any other mindset (note that I didn't say ideology) because it requires research on every issue to develop an opinion.

Moderates get attacked from both sides (usually by pundits) using those arguments for a simple reason: Moderates are unpredictable. You can never group them together into a single mass and pander to them. This is why there is no moderate party.

Now, on to the show:

I am a moderate because I will not let others tell me what I should think.

I am a moderate because I don't believe that just because someone is fiscally conservative they must also be socially conservative.

I am a moderate because I don't believe that just because someone is fiscally liberal they must also be socially liberal.

I am a moderate because I don't believe people have to be entirely fiscally (or socially) liberal or conservative.

I am a moderate because I choose to select my positions on issues a la carte.

I am a moderate because I believe politics is the art of the compromise.

I am a moderate because I don't think compromise is a bad thing and will not no matter who tries to argue that it is waffling.

I am a moderate because I believe it to be a virtue to change opinions on an issue if a new understanding or new evidence invalidates the old opinion.

I am a moderate because I believe both sides of the aisles have good ideas.

I am a moderate because I don't believe either side has nothing but good ideas.

I am a moderate because I don't believe in forcing people to agree with me.

I am a moderate because I choose to ascribe what I see as bad behavior to ignorance or a lack of charisma rather than to malice.

I am a moderate because I recognize that the choices I make don't have to be the only options for everyone.

I am a moderate because I don't believe reductio ad Hitlerum is conducive to a reasoned and logical discussion of anything (except perhaps World War II or related subjects).

I am a moderate because I believe you are entitled to your own opinion even if we disagree (especially if we disagree).

I am a moderate because I think things will work out if we work together.

Fellow moderates, feel free to add your own in the comments below.

Farewell to Aubrey and Maturin (or Where have All the Christians Gone?)

2009-12-15T21:57:00.007-07:00

Today I finished the final (unfinished--heh, there's a zen puzzler for you) story in the Aubrey-Maturin series by Patrick O'Brian. After 21 books, it's like saying goodbye to old friends. It's an epic storyline containing some of the best characterizations I've read. The world O'Brian creates (apparently a quite faithful representation of life 200 years ago) is engrossing. While under the thrall of the books, I feel like I belong in that time, and I never fail to be shocked by our own world when I emerge.

As I finish it, I guess it's time to ask the question that has nagged at me ever since I first picked up Master and Commander: Where have all the christians gone?

First, a few definitions since the terms I wish to use here have been out of use for decades if not centuries. A christian, herein, is an upstanding person who always thinks of others and acts such as to never offer offense, clears up any offense that may have inadvertently occurred, and in all things seeks to maintain civility. A christian person does not necessarily believe in Christianity any more than a spartan person comes from Greece (the missing capitalization is intentional and meaningful).

A scrub is a generally disagreeable person who tends to aggrandize himself, his friends, or his cause at the cost of "common" civility. A scrub doesn't necessarily hang out of the passenger side of his best friend's ride, but he may. The primary marker is a disregard for others' feelings.

A blaggard is worse than a scrub in that he tends to be openly hostile and will retaliate to any perceived slight. Think of blaggards as scrubs-squared.

Reading O'Brian's books, you quickly become overwhelmed with how polite everyone is to each other. When people disagree, they don't shout or fight, trying to force the other to accept their side. Only scrubs and blaggards do that: scrubs turning every conversation into a debate, and blaggards seeking to destroy anyone they cannot sway.

Ultimately, the difference between our world and the world of 1814 is that there are increasingly few christians, while scrubs and blaggards are increasingly plentiful (just watch TV, read a comments section online, or talk to a coworker . I don't hold myself up as an example people should emulate. While I'd like to say I'm a christian, and I do have my moments, generally I'm a scrub.

An example (not a great one, but the first that comes to mind because it's what made me look at myself): In several instances in the books, someone will approach another with news such as the fort will return our salute. The person receiving the news has already learned this from some other source. In such a situation, the first words that would come from my mouth are, "I know." However, in every such situation, Jack Aubrey would reply something to the effect of "That's good news. Thank you."

A small example, but let's look at it. "I know," is brief and moves the conversation on to new ground where perhaps the messenger might tell you something interesting. However, place yourself in this scene as the messenger. You are bringing a message that your friend, boss, etc. has been anticipating, only to find you have been pre-empted. Your message is dismissed. The wind goes from your sails, and you are no longer the bearer of good news. You're last week's Tribune. This is a scrubbish thing to do to someone.

On the other hand, "That's good news. Thank you." takes a few more seconds. Ultimately, in the course of conversation-time, it is the same. The conversation ends in the exactly the same place, but the messenger feels good. Does it matter that his news wasn't fresh? This response is gracious. It's receptive. It's civil.

Acting like a christian is a matter of getting along. It means seeing the compliment someone wants to receive and giving it. It's recognizing that nothing you believe in is so important it's worth being a scrub over, let alone a blaggard. It's being the change you wish to see in the world.

Really, where all the christians went should be obvious. The key to acting a christian is recognizing the humanity of those around you. Increasingly, our society bowls alone. The internet is a wasteland of incivility and blaggards (we call them trolls) largely because the people with whom you interact are not really people to you, they are a block of text on your screen. Road rage flares most when you look at the drivers around you and see cars instead of people.

Have you ever been mad at the maneuver someone did around you only to recognize them as someone you know? The anger melts away and is replaced by pleasure at the anticipation of the ribbing you'll give them next time you see them.

Thus, as I say farewell to Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin I will miss my frequent dips into a world where people are polite. It's not a utopia where all people drink coke and dance on a mountainside. There are fights, disagreements, and arguments. In fact, the first scene in the series shows their meeting wherein they nearly come to a duel over a disagreement over how they enjoy a concert. Jack tells Stephen where his hotel is so Stephen may find him later and demand satisfaction.

When Stephen arrives the next morning to ask forgiveness for acting the scrub, Jack invites him to breakfast, and they come to know each other. Their adventures go on fill 21 books.

And that's really it. A christian isn't someone who never acts like a scrub. They are those who recognize their inner scrub and make amends when it gets out. They are those to whom civility is ultimately more important than their own pride.

Think as I Think

2009-09-13T18:26:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite poems is "Think as I Think, Said a Man" by Stephen Crane. I love the message of it, but there is another reason I love this poem:

"Think as I think," said a man,
"Or you are abominably wicked;
You are a toad."
And after I had thought of it,
I said, "I will, then, be a toad."

What I truly love about it is the fourth line. I picture Stephen Crane at a party, filling his plate from the shrimp platter. A man comes up to him and says, "Think as I think, or you are abominably wicked; you are a toad."

Stephen mmphs a "Whatever you say" around a mouthful of prawn, and the man laughs and walks away. Later that night, on the way home, Stephen shouts, "I will, then, be a toad. Man, that would have been awesome."

8 Years Ago

2009-09-12T18:16:00.003-06:00

For me, September 11, 2001 was pretty uneventful. I am one of the few Americans who, when asked about 9/11, have to retrieve my shock from a mental file labeled 9/12.

I was in Kwangyang, South Korea serving as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The attacks happened right around midnight local time. I learned about them at 6:40 am, while I was studying scriptures with my companion.

The phone rang and my supervisor told me there had been an attack on America. Something about explosions and planes in New York and Washington, and we were to stay inside that day until we were sure it wasn't open-season on Americans.

A while later I received a call from a friend in Naju. She asked if I'd heard about the attacks, and I begged her for details. She spoke excellent English, and almost always spoke to us in our own language. She told me about the planes and the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and I passed the information on to my companion.

Then she said, "The towers are gone."

To which I replied, "Gone?!" It made zero sense, and I figured she just mistranslated something, so I switched to Korean. "No longer exists?" I asked. She agreed. "Completely gone?" Again in Korean.

"Completely gone."

I can't exactly remember what happened next. I remember sitting down. I remember being lost for words (the only one I could find was "How?"). I remember staring into the middle distance (and I'd always thought that a cliche). While I sat stunned, she gave me what details were known about the hijackings.

About an hour later, my supervisor called back with actual details, nothing I didn't know now, and told us we were allowed to go out. We had shopping to do, so we went out. Every store and restaurant in town had TVs set to CNN, where we saw the attacks and subsequent falling towers. It was unreal. Looked like bad special effects. We all know what it looked like.

The Koreans were great. They expressed sympathy to us, and were nothing but kind. They knew what it was to see your country attacked. They had been there. They understood.

I finally understood them.

Let's Talk About Dean Koontz: Part 2

2009-09-11T19:01:00.003-06:00

Koontz is an incredibly prolific writer, and much of that prolificacy comes from the fact that he draws his stories from common wells. Not to say his stories are all the same; only a handful seem truly repetitious (and if he tends to a certain plot, there are only a handful of those anyway).

Most of what he pulls from these wells just make up the skin of the story: setting, description, and minor sub-plots. They go more into his style or voice more than anything. So study this if you ever intend to write Koontz fan-fic (Kind of like how you should master a lexicon of words like cyclopean and eldritch if you want to impersonate Lovecraft. And don't forget the archaic spellings.... Stay tuned for a Lovecraft Lexicon in the future.)

So without further ado, here's the list of common Koontzisms (in no particular order).

1. Bougainvillea -- Probably Koontz's favorite flower. The only book I can think of without it is Icebound. And I only think it doesn't have bougainvillea because it's set in Antarctica, but there's probably some flashback or Denouement Picnic (see below) with it languidly climbing a trellis.

2. Dogs -- Koontz loves him his dogs. There are a few books without them (usually really old ones), but everything modern has them (most notable was The Darkest Evening of the Year, which was his love note to his beloved Golden Retriever, Trixie, who was dying at the time he wrote it). 75% of the Dogs in Koontz will be Goldens, 20% will be Labs, and all other breeds have to fight over the remaining 5% (statistics made up on the spot).

3. .38 Chief's Special -- The weapon of choice for a Koontz hero. They'll occasionally use others and will sometimes hit the black market for illegally modified uzi's and shotguns when the Nazis are coming.

4. Chinos and Rockports -- the standard-issue uniform for a Koontz hero. So common, I've begun to wonder if he has some kind of endorsement deal.

5. Unusual Similes -- Koontz uses similes like salt. After reading his stuff, you'll never have to worry about your thyroid, but you might want a gallon of fresh water. (Extended enough?)

6. Koontz's Law of Character Backstories -- Every character in a Koontz novel must come from a horrific background. If a hero's parent is dead, that parent committed suicide. In front of the hero. After telling him it's all his fault. Think about the worst possible things you can think of happening to a kid without killing him. Somewhere, that is the backstory of a Koontz hero(ine).

7. Denouement Picnic -- Most characters in Koontz's novels survive. They will gather at the end (with their various dogs) a year or so after the climax, usually for some kind of picnic or barbecue.

8. Criticism of Modern Society -- The world is going to hell, and it's the fault of those damned hippies. Koontz's characters tend to have personal creeds against the permissive trends of society and will fight against it symbolically in the climax.

9. Short Climaxes -- Most villains consider themselves to be gods, and Koontz ratchets up the tension with their immense powers, but the go down like punks. One bullet will usually do it. Basically the opposite of Roger Ebert's law of multiple villain deaths. Interesting thing is that it never really feels anticlimactic.

10. Rich Characters -- Koontz's characters are almost always self-sufficient. If they're not, their rich uncle will kick off in act 1 and leave them a sizeable inheritance. They never have ransom money, but they usually have anywhere from ten to fifty grand sitting around that they can use to buy illegally modified automatics, chief's specials, and H&K shotguns in act 2. The exception is Odd Thomas, who never seems to need money.

Well, those are the ten most obvious, but there's a ton more. What did I miss? Tell me in the comments.

Let's Talk About Dean Koontz: Part 1

2009-09-11T18:32:00.003-06:00

I just got my hands on Relentless, Dean Koontz's newest thriller. I haven't had the chance to read it yet, but I think it will be next in the queue (I currently have 2 books going: Stephen King, and Spider Robinson).

Having mentioned King, it puts me in mind of a lot of pop cultural garbage against Koontz. It has become popular to hate Koontz as a second-rate, poor-man's King. That has never really struck me as a valid argument.

I come away with completely different feelings from each of them. Technically, they are both horror writers, but that's not where Koontz lives, and his stories never get as dark and dingy as King's (who has the distinction of being the only writer to make me want to take a shower after reading his work).

My feeling toward Koontz are mixed. When he's on, he is one of the greatest. When he's off, he's pretty bad (but more readable than other books I've suffered through, not naming any names). Interestingly, that's the same opinion King has of him. Just look at the interview where he famously said, "...Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn."

When it comes to Koontz, I'm not much of a critic. The problem is that I love Dean Koontz. I have read every book of his that I can get a hold of (43 at this point by my count. Relentless will be 44). When he's bad, I just shake my head as if the puppy just made a mess on the rug.

Reading Koontz is something of a homey experience, made so by the common threads that run through his books. There's probably a drinking game.

I intended at this point to take you through those common threads, but this post is already too long, so the threads will follow in a separate post.

4 years

2009-09-10T18:03:00.002-06:00

It has been 4 years since my writing education began in earnest. Of course, I've been a writer for several times that. I used to think you can't learn how to write from someone else. I'm still pretty leery of writing classes in school (you need to have the right teacher or it might become more of an impediment than help).

The one nice thing about having gone my own way so long was that I had well over 400,000 of my million "practice words" written by that time. The drawback is that most of those words sucked since I didn't know what I was doing (my first novel was an impenetrable doorstop coming in at 275,000 words). For those keeping track at home, that's 3x as long as a first book should be.

Anyway, I just wanted to give a big thanks to those folks who have helped me most over these last 4 years: Robert J Defendi, Scott Rhoades, John English, Carolyn Larson, Dave Tippets, and Dave Wolverton.

Administrative Change

2008-11-08T10:27:00.004-07:00

I've decided to stop writing Book Reviews of every book I read. Simply, as of today I'm 22 books behind and that is daunting and keeping me from even wanting to think about this blog. And of the 40+ reviews I've written this year, only 1 or 2 (if I'm generous) actually have any insight in them. I'll still review books that particularly strike me.

I'll probably even remove some of my reviews because they have such negative value that their mere existence pulls down everything else (and not just on this site). You'll thank me when I delete an old post and you find your car has appeciated a smidge.

That said, any books in my sidebar or past years' collection you want my opinion on, drop a comment on any thread. If you'd like to start a discussion, say so, and I'll start a thread for it.

Book Review: Cetaganda by Lois McMaster Bujold

2008-08-14T15:15:00.003-06:00

Synopsis: Miles Vorkosigan goes on a diplomatic mission to the Cetagandan Empire. Within minutes of arriving, he gets swept up in a silent coup d' etat that if it succeeds, blame will be placed on the Barrayaran government.

This was a fun story. The Cetagandans are a people who focus on improvement of the race by genetic engineering. They have a two-caste system: the Haut, who are artists--the cream of engineering--and the Ghem, the military. In addition, there are the Ba, a servitor race--think genetic eunuchs. It's an interesting societal construct mainly because one would think the Ghem would lead because they have all the guns, but the leaders of Cetaganda are the Haut.

The plot of the book deals with the Star Creche which is the gene bank for the entire civilization. I had a little problem with an eight-star empire relying on a single gene bank. Talk about all eggs, one basket.

Haut women are so beautiful they spend the majority of their time encased in opaque indestructible bubbles. When Miles first sees a Haut woman's face, he is effectively ensorcelled by it. That seemed a bit much to me, but that might be because Haut women are impossibly beautiful. what that really means is that you can't even imagine how beautiful unless you see one. So in my mind, Miles is mush-brained over the most perfect female I can imagine, and that doesn't really seem in character.

Overall, it's an enjoyable book. It brings the intrigue of politics into a locked-room murder into a spy thriller. Besides the points above, the only disappointment is that the Dendarii don't show up.

Book Review: Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer

2008-08-03T19:13:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: Artemis Fowl and Holly Short work together again to rescue the Demons of Hybras and keep them from trying to kill all the humans.

I wasn't so hot on this story. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't that great either. Each Artemis Fowl book adds more characters. The problem with that is that there's only so much time in a story. The more characters there are, the less time they get on screen. Colfer does it pretty well, but I felt a few of the characters were somewhat redundant.

It has an interesting ending that relies on time paradoxes, and Colfer does a good job handling them. Makes me wonder about the next book since it's apparently about a time paradox. I wonder if it's dealing with fallout from this one or a new paradox.

Book Review: The Vor Game by Lois McMaster Bujold

2008-08-03T18:46:00.003-06:00

Synopsis: Three years after The Warrior's Apprentice, Miles Vorkosigan graduates from the academy and gets his first assignment. That goes bad, and Miles ends up struggling to save the Emperor and averting interstellar war.

Talking about Lois McMaster Bujold with a friend, his biggest criticism was the coincidences that go into making her plots work. This book is the one he was thinking about. There are quite a few coincidences running around this book. It's not too bad when you consider economy of characters and efficient plotting, but it can make the story feel contrived at times.

That said, the story is rather fun to read. Miles is a consummate protagonist. While things constantly happen to him to destroy his life, he struggles to keep afloat and alive. And inevitably everything he does just makes things worse. Just as it should be.

Book Review: The Warrior's Apprentice by Lois McMaster Bujold

2008-07-30T15:14:00.004-06:00

Synopsis: Miles Vorkosigan fails to make it into the Barrayaran military academy due to his frailty caused by events in the book Barrayar. He does however succeed in accidentally becoming an "admiral."

This was an absolute joy to read. Miles is a character with so much personality almost anything he could do would be fun to witness. Bujold did such a marvelous job crafting him. Without resorting to spoilers, there was a point in the middle where I had to stop and say, "Holy Crap! Did he just do what I think he did?" Short answer: Yes. And it was believable.

It is somewhat of a Space Opera, but once you are immersed in Bujold's universe, it seems like science. It's that internally consistant. And her handling of intrigue makes me realize how much I still have to learn.

Book Review: Barrayar by Lois McMaster Bujold

2008-07-13T22:39:00.003-06:00

Synopsis: Cordelia Naismith from Shards of Honor gets used to her new life as the Lady Vorkosigan and complains about the Barrayarans. Then she helps keep the Emperor alive during a coup d'etat.

This is a rather enjoyable book. Much of the plot involves political intrigue, which is a subject about which I'm still learning, so I can't really rate the handling. One thing we learn from Aral's regency is that it sucks to be the leader. Life is full of hard decisions, and people are always trying to kill you.

It's funny getting the story through Cordelia's eyes. Being from Beta Colony, she's extremely liberal. While many of the things she criticizes about Barrayar make perfect sense, on other things, she's out there. It's rather fun being in the viewpoint of someone who's frequently rational and occasionally bizarre.

Or maybe I'm not far enough to the left.

Book Review: Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception by Eoin Colfer

2008-07-13T22:25:00.003-06:00

Synopsis: Opal Koboi escapes from her asylum and sets out to get revenge. Artemis Fowl eventually gets his fairy memories back.

This book takes the Artemis Fowl series to a new place. It is darker and somewhat more complicated than previous Fowl novels. It does an excellent job of balancing a heroic Artemis with try/fail cycles. It had some great moments between Artemis and Holly. And this is a must read for Mulch Diggums reaction to the disaster at the end of Act 1 (see what I did there, not giving the spoiler--not like you can't find it if you just look around).

Book Review: Desolation Island by Patrick O'Brian

2008-07-13T21:51:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: Jack Aubrey takes his ship, Leopard, on a trip to Botany Bay. On the way, they lose most of the crew to plague, get hounded by a far superior Dutch ship, and barely make it to a semi-deserted island most of the way to Antarctica.

This book starts with a concept I've talked about before in the Aubrey-Maturin books: Get Jack Aubrey the hell off land. This is his wife's plea, and Stephen helps make that happen. The book is as enjoyable as any other O'Brian book, moreso than many.

The most poignant part for me is when they finally get rid of the Dutchman. They cause it to lose steerage in the middle of a hurricane, and the Dutchman is quickly swamped and sinks. What's so touching is Aubrey's reaction. He is haunted by the thought of the hundreds of lives he just ended. He's a lifelong sailor and naval warrior, but war's not supposed to be about killing men. It's supposed to be about capturing or disabling ships.

It's a quaintly outdated sentiment, but the part of me that adores this world longs for such a time. I guess that makes me a hippy.

Book Review: Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett

2008-07-13T21:41:00.003-06:00

Synopsis: After the assassination of their king, the witches have to work together to first protect the rightful heir, then return him to the throne before the land destroys itself.

This is, hands down, the funniest Pratchett book I've read to this point. It seemed like I was laughing out loud every five minutes. It was so good. I think Mort is still my favorite with all things considered (it had a little more substance).

The best part is when Death appears on stage in the role of Death in the Hamlet-esque play-in-a-book. Then there's Nanny Ogg. Pretty much every scene she's in is hilarious.

When they are gathering the prince back, the witches follow the folktales to make sure he's successful in reclaiming the kingdom. That section caught my attention because my current novel has a rather similar concept. What can I say? Great minds.

Book Review: Killshot by Elmore Leonard

2008-07-13T21:33:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: An iron worker interfers with an extortion/robbery and thus draws the attention of a mafia hitman and his moron accomplice.

This book is something of a departure from the other Leonard books I've read. The others were almost entirely about a single crime and it's fallout. This one follows more of a thriller-type formula. It was an exciting read. The moronic villain--whose name escapes me now--added quite a bit because there was no telling what he would do next.

And this the only Leonard book I've read where the hero is not a US Marshal. There is a Marshal, but he's more a villain than any other Marshal I've seen in a Leonard book.

Book Review: Up in Honey's Room by Elmore Leonard

2008-07-13T21:27:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: Carl Webster returns. This time he is trying to track down an escaped German POW during WWII and getting involved with an underground cell of German spies in the process.

I think this is my least favorite of Leonard's books I've read. As I am writing this over a month after reading it, I can't actually think of many plot points. What I do remember is that it climaxes with Carl sitting by (naked, mind you) while the problem solves itself.

That was kinda disappointing.

Updates

2008-07-13T21:25:00.002-06:00

Okay. I have some catching up to do now. Between internet outages and general busyness, I haven't been here in a while. So here goes updating the books on which I've missed a review.

Book Review: When the Women Come Out to Dance by Elmore Leonard

2008-06-04T15:24:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: This is a collection of short stories.

Many of these stories involve previous stories by Leonard. In fact, I can say for certain the story from Tishomingo Blues is an off screen scene we have described in the book. I have to admit, the concept is brilliant: compile deleted and character sketch scenes and sell them in a collection. It's more money for not much more work.

The story that sticks with me most is Tenkiller, wherein Ben Webster--grandson of Carl Webster from The Hot Kid and Up in Honey's Room, returns to Oklahoma and discovers squatters have taken over his ancestral land.

The other one that really leaves a mark on me is Fire in the Hole, which follows the takedown of a white supremacist. The pure racism just sent shivers. It's something I don't really get. Maybe it's because deep down I'm a good guy. Maybe because I'm a mongrel. Whatever it is, racism really gets to me.

Book Review: The Hot Kid by Elmore Leonard

2008-06-02T22:27:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: Carl Webster, a young US Marshal works to capture various bad guys in the thirties while building his myth.

This one took me a while to really get into. There are a series of flashbacks and flash-sideways to establish the characters. I wasn't paying enough attention to completely figure out what it was all about. Later on I realized it was to establish Carl and Jack Belmont, the antagonist. Perhaps if I'd been paying more attention, my favorite part of the book wouldn't have been so cool. About half or three-quarters of the way through, I realized that Carl and Jack have almost identical backgrounds. And they are equally hesitant to shoot.

Once I got into the story, once I knew what was going on, It was an enjoyable story. Something along the lines of The Untouchables. As I've spoken of minor character traits in previous Leonard books, I'll add one here. There's a point where Carl is facing down some pretty tough people while someone is cooking in another room. He stops in the middle of a dour statement to say, "That smells good." As I've said before, that makes him so much more human than rescuing any number of kittens.

Oh, another Elmore Leonard trait: denouement? What denouement? This is the second Elmore Leonard book I've read that ends immediately after the climax. Done right, that's not a bad thing. And Leonard does it right.

Book Review: Tishomingo Blues by Elmore Leonard

2008-06-01T22:11:00.004-06:00

Synopsis: After daredevil high-diver Dennis Lenahan witnesses a murder by the Dixie Mafia, he is threatened into silence. Then he meets a slick con man from Detroit and gets drawn into his plots to usurp the Dixie Mafia's turf. The whole of the climax takes place during a Civil War reenactment.

Okay, this being my second Elmore Leonard book (and I'm working on my third), I'm starting to understand his style. His protagonists are super-slick cool guys who typify who a man wishes he were. Throw in so quirky characters (good, bad, and neutral). Then add some great dialogue and interesting locations, and you've got something.

This one's a little slow at the beginning. It's entertaining, getting to know his characters (mostly people I'm glad I don't live next to, but despite a murder and various other crimes going back and forth, not much really sparkles plot-wise until we're moving into the reenactment.

But once we're in uniform, wow. It's just fun. I think it's the details Leonard includes with the die-hard reenactors (such as the CIB cop who is hesitant to arrest the bad guys until after the reenactment, and who dresses down the protagonist for not having his rifle on him at all times). Another thing that's pretty cool is that we spend some good time coming up with plans, and they completely fall apart in a way I don't think I've ever really seen before (let's face it, climax plans always fall apart. It's neat to see it happen somewhat originally).

Book Review: Split Images by Elmore Leonard

2008-05-27T22:44:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: Lieutenant Bryan Hurd tries to pin a murder on an eccentric millionaire, who secretly likes to hunt people for sport.

This is my first Elmore Leonard book, and I liked it. The characters are all so well drawn and distinct. Even those characters who are basically stereotypes are so in a way that was fun and interesting to me.

It took a while for the plot to get moving. The first part I was a little bewildered trying to understand what the story was going to be. Then it got started, and the characters took over for me.

The plot became really strong near the end. Elmore added some strong twists and reversals that pumped up my suspense.

Based on this book, I would guess that the strength that makes Leonard one of the big names in his genre is that he has a knack for characters. He just made them come to life and made me care about them. For example: I think my connection to Lt. Hurd locked into place when he asked his lover to get the phone because he wasn't wearing any pants. It's a minor thing, but a quirk about answering the phone while naked makes him so much more real to me than if Leonard had made a point to say he gives sneakers to ghetto kids on Saturdays. It's that kind of care that people's Leonard's books with real, believable characters.

Book Review: Sourcery by Terry Pratchett

2008-05-21T23:20:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: All wizards are eighth sons of eighth sons, but when a wizard has eight sons, a sourceror [sic] is born. And with the birth of a sourceror comes the end of the world.

It took me quite a while to get through this book. That's no slight against Mr. Pratchett. There are few writers who compare to him in pure enjoyability. I started reading Pratchett at the suggestion of my friend after I started writing a fantasy comedy.

Usually I read these books with a broad smile throughout the entire process, but rarely do I laugh out loud (again, not a slight). Most people speak of Pratchett's work as hilarious. That, to me, means lots of laughing. So I wonder if I'm really getting the jokes or what. I think the problem for me is that for me to laugh out loud, I need a strong punchline. I'm reserved like that.

That said (feels like a dark confession), I really enjoy these books. I'm actually somewhat torn on the character of Rincewind. I love his cowardice and incompetance, but the fleeing that naturally follows those always make his books seem more episodic than drawn into a tight plot. That's my biggest, and perhaps only, problem with this book and why it took me so long to read it.

I think it went more than a month unopened on my nightstand. I simply stopped one night at a place where the plot didn't require me to keep reading, and it took me quite a while to overcome my inertia.

Personal Taste

2008-05-21T22:41:00.005-06:00

There's been a lot of talk in the blogosphere lately dealing with reading tastes. The meme is in the air. A few blogs I follow have had some really good posts on this topic. The ones that immediately come to mind are from agent Kristin Nelson and from Bookends Literary Agency:

http://pubrants.blogspot.com/2008/05/lesson-to-be-learned-from-popular-books.html

http://pubrants.blogspot.com/2008/05/millions-of-readers-are-not-wrong.html

http://bookendslitagency.blogspot.com/2008/05/how-do-bad-books-get-published.html

What these posts have in common is that there is no such thing as a bad popular book. A popular book is popular because people like it. If you don't like it, that's your taste. And writers panning popular books reek of sour grapes.

That is similar to what I said in my post about why I give bad reviews, and I feel somewhat vindicated. However, I also feel bad about the sheer number of bad reviews I've given. I still maintain that its my opinion, and that's what the blog is for, but I've resolved to do as Agent Kristin suggests and look for (and perhaps bring up in the review) what it is others like so much.

I like to think I haven't gone so far in my opinions that I question the sanity of the readership. Okay, so I did with The Golden Compass (I ammended my opinions in the reviews of the later books in His Dark Materials) and perhaps Crossover. I confess that some of my posts, especially the aforementioned and maybe some dealing with Dan Brown, were not precisely professional or even polite. I apologize for that and will try to do better in the future.

If at any point you think my opinion is too harsh, let me know. As you might be able to see, I'm not above dining on a steaming plate of crow.

I won't go back and remove my more pejorative reviews. There's too much revisionist history on the internet. So if you think I'm a prick, that's your opinion, but hopefully as I progress and grow into this whole blogging thing, my real personality will come out more.

Book Review: Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code by Eoin Colfer

2008-05-16T15:44:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: After Butler is fatally shot, Artemis Fowl enlists fairy help to make things right, get revenge, and make one last score before going straight.

Of the three AF books I've read to this point, this is second best. It's miles better than The Arctic Incident but just barely short of Artemis Fowl. In this one, you have Artemis once more taking the role of hero, but this time, he's not completely incompetent doing it. He still had his try/fail cycles, but this time they didn't make him seem stupid. It may be because John Spiro is a more worthy adversary. It could be that Artemis was simply smarter in this book.

I have to say I wish the mob had a bigger role. It seemed like that part of the plot just petered out. And while the fairies making a guy who knows too much disappear was funny, it solved the problem too thoroughly too quickly.

Regardless, the book was worth the read, and the ending makes me look forward to the next one.

Book Review: The Mauritius Command by Patrick O'Brian

2008-05-13T15:47:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: Jack Aubrey gets back to sea. This time he is sent to the southern Indian Ocean as Commodore of a small fleet.

The quality of Master and Commander returns in this one. Perhaps that's because Jack Aubrey spends much of this book at sea. This book also spends quite a deal of time following Dr. Maturin when he's apart from Aubrey. And that's rather entertaining in itself.

One of the best parts of this for me was reading the Île de la Passe battle with Google Earth open and zoomed in on the locale. Seeing the actual locations of the reefs and imagining sailing anything around there made the scene so much more vivid. And with O'Brian's narrative voice, it was already powerful.

I think the parts of this book (and series) that are most educational for me are the nautical parts (of course) and the handling of political bureaucracy. The nautical parts need no explanation. The politcis are so educational to me because I tend to be pretty straightforward. I have always had a hard time understanding undercurrents and intrigue. I guess I'm somewhat guileless. Reading this series, I have become acquainted with the techniques of advancement by standing on the backs of others.

Of course, I still think them the actions of a scrub.

The best parts of this one are Dr. Maturin's covert ops, the interaction between Aubrey and Clonfert, and Aubrey's reaction to the final reversal. Then there's the great "Flog Bonden?!" scene.

Book Review: Night of the Soul Stealer by Joseph Delaney

2008-05-02T17:07:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: Tom Ward follows the Spook to his winter home where they encounter a failed apprentice, now a powerful necromancer, who plans to summon an ancient god.

A lot of this book had the same charm as the previous two books of The Last Apprentice. However, this is the weakest of the three. It just doesn't have the constant sense of menace that made the first two of the series so great. I don't think as much happens, and that's a little sad.

It also has the weakest ending. Basically, it ends without input from any of the good guys. If they did nothing, it would have ended exactly the same. That said, it uses a similar trick as used in the Bartimaeus Trilogy. I won't give it away, but it's just one of my favorite ways to fight a summoner.

Another thing I liked was having a necromancer who is evil, but puts aside his overt evil to go John Edward for local farm folk. Yeah, it's still pretty dark and depressing, but it shows how when one has a skill, one uses it to pay the bills.

So this book isn't as good as its predecessors, but it's still worth reading. And I can't see a book by Delaney in this world being a bad read.

Book Review: Curse of the Bane by Joseph Delaney

2008-05-01T23:41:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: Spook apprentice Tom Ward helps his master fight an ancient evil that's corrupting the countryside.

The second book of The Last Apprentice is possibly better than the first. It still has minor writing issues, but they are so small it's hardly worth mentioning (except that I'm a schmuck). The biggest issue I had was that the back cover copy revealed the Act II twist.

One thing I rather liked in this story was the portrayal of evil clergy. What was great about the clergy was that we know the clergy hate Spooks (they consider them servants of evil). The clergy hates witches too. Basically, the evil clergy are Cotton Mather and his ilk (I am a direct descendant of Robert Calef, so it rang well with me). Most clergy are basically good and treat others (even Spooks who aren't obviously malevalent) well. The worst are under the influence of an ancient evil (not a spoiler since it's the title and something we learn in the first few chapters).

Basically, it gave us some villains to generate a feeling of injustice without making a vast group of people purely evil. Yes, evil was behind it, but it wasn't the pure evil of flat, unimaginative villains.

Book Review: Revenge of the Witch by Joseph Delaney

2008-05-01T23:19:00.003-06:00

Synopsis: Young Tom Ward takes up an apprenticeship to the county Spook, a kind of monster hunter.

This is the first of The Last Apprentice series. It's a middle-grade horror story. And it is good.

The world that Delaney creates has a ring of truth to it. It seems so vast and complicated without overdoing it. Delaney uses a fairly standard mythos, based largely on celtic lore, but he has his own take on it. There are some moments where Delaney's writing isn't as tight as it should be (nothing anyone but a jerk would notice), but otherwise it's nigh on perfect.

I particularly admire how Delaney structures his conflict. In almost any novel (especially those for a young audience or running the Hero's Journey), the hero has a mentor who is fully capable of solving the problem without the hero. The traditional (and annoying) way of handling this is to have the mentor say something enigmatic (such as, "This isn't my fight.") and then stand by doing nothing. The way Delaney keeps the Spook out of the fights is simple, but it works.

The interesting thing about this book is that it's obvious Delaney has studied the craft. Most of the time when I'm reading or watching TV or movies, as the plot develops I come up with a few predictions of what's coming. The first is always the Hollywood/hackneyed path, and it's right most of the time. The other predictions are based on the theory of plot, and they're "unexpected" results. Delaney actually used a few of my deeper predictions, and a few times even defied my "plot-dar."

I should say that although I predicted some of Delaney's twists, I don't consider the book predictable because I don't think most people would have seen them coming.

Book Review: Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident by Eoin Colfer

2008-05-01T22:54:00.003-06:00

Synopsis: Artemis Fowl returns. This time he helps the fairies fight a goblin revolution in exchange for help recovering his kidnapped father.

This is an enjoyable book. It's not as good as the first book of the series. In fact, a lot of its enjoyability may come from the afterglow of book 1.

I think the major flaw this book has is placing Artemis Fowl into a heroic role. He's great as an evil genius, but as a hero he's required to fail regularly. That just makes him clumsy and sad albeit still a genius.

That's not say it's not worth reading. It has much of the same charm and some great moments, but it doesn't hold up as well as the first.

Oh, and on the previous subject of environmentalism and fairies...they have an interesting view of radiation.

I guess I'm not the only one...

2008-05-01T22:38:00.003-06:00

Just an update on my jerk post. Nathan Bransford had an interesting post on the internet and rabid personal opinion. You can read it here.

I don't think I'm that rabid... Okay maybe once or twice I probably crossed a line somewhere. I'll try to be a bit more balanced in the future.

Why am I such a jerk?

2008-04-18T10:27:00.003-06:00

I've had a couple questions from readers who notice that my book reviews tend to be negative. And I've been asked what I have against Dan Brown. So I figured I'd answer that here.

On the subject of negativity, I work as an editor. That job has trained me to see the faults in things. And I'm pretty good at it. The real problem is that only two things ever stand out in any work: flaws and moments of brilliance. The merely satisfactory is background. When I started my reviews, I decided to be brutally honest. So I point out the flaws in the hope that any writers who might read this after stumbling upon the site (or losing a bet) might avoid such mistakes in their own work.

I also decided to minimize the spoilers in my reviews. It's easy to point out a structural flaw without giving away the story, but brilliant scenes can't be described without spoiling that scene at least.

The truth is that praise is rarely helpful. That's the problem with most writing or critique groups out there: For fear of offending people, they only say nice things about the work. I joined my current critique group two and a half years ago. And they did what I needed. They shredded it, burned the shreds, sowed the ashes in a field, and salted the field lest anything ever grow there again (metaphorically speaking, of course). Every week, I left there wanting to cry. But I kept going back, and an interesting thing happened: I learned. And I thank them for that. I am a much better writer now than I was before their mauling.

So that's why I focus on the negatives: You can learn from them.

On to Dan Brown. It isn't just me, most professional writers have problems with his books (not the man--I'm sure he's delightful--though I can't say for certain, having never met him). The best way to express this problem is by extended metaphor. Writer's typically refer to their techniques as their toolkit. So we'll liken writing to carpentry.

When every would-be carpenter starts out, they go to the hardware store and pick up a basic toolkit and a Time/Life book on making shelves. Nothing in it is special. It will never produce anything great, but it's serviceable. As the carpenter gains experience, he gets more tools, more books, and expands his skills until he can produce works that are unique.

The writer's toolkit is similar. All writers start out with the same set of hackneyed plot devices, one dimensional characterizations, and tricks (like extended metaphors). Every writer is intimitely familiar with them, and the best build a writing workshop like unto Norm Abrams, with tools and techniques that allow them to make works no one else could ever reproduce. Works that surprise even the most jaded.

The problem with Dan Brown is that he uses the basic kit almost exclusively. The story is competantly told, but it's still formulaic and still has plot holes. So writers who know their craft see his work and recogize its shortcomings. Then comes the sour grapes (there, I admitted it): His works sell so many copies while a better crafted story doesn't do as well. Though, I should say the sour grapes aren't the cause of writers disliking the work, they are the reason for decrying it. There's no need to shout about the emperor being naked if no one saw him.

There is something of elitism that comes of learning a craft. A carpenter might look at another's work and scoff bacause of a rough bevel or uneven groove. A chef might spit out slightly overcooked shrimp. Writers are the same. We know the potential of a good story well told, and when one falls short we know it.

So there we go. Not only am I a jerk in my reviews, but I'm also an elitist snob who thinks he knows better than everyone else.

One thing to keep in mind about my reviews is that they're my opinion. You might think I'm wrong. If you do, I welcome debate in the comments. Like all critics that trick is to decide whether or not you tend to agree with me, and take my suggestions accordingly. If I tend to dislike books you love, when I write a bad review of something, get thee to the bookstore and get a copy.

Book Review: Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

2008-04-17T16:58:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: Artemis Fowl kidnaps a Fairy special agent and ransoms her back for leprechaun gold.

I wasn't sure what I was going to think about this book going into it. My wife read it and enjoyed it (though she had a problem with inconsistancies in the Fairy environmentalism).

I rather enjoyed it myself. Halfway through, I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out. The reason is simple: Artemis Fowl is a villain. One of the basics of writing is that the first character you become grounded in is the "focal character." This is the character who defines whose side you should root for. In many cases (typically in formulaic thrillers), this character is murdered by the villain (then you go, "Okay. That's the bad guy. Anything opposing him is good."). The effect is strengthened when the focal character is also an eponymous character. The brilliant thing is that Artemis Fowl, after whom the book is named, is the villain.

You start the book on his side, wanting him to succeed. Then you are put into the point of view of Holly Short, and get to know the LEP Recon. These are the good guys. And they're not Dudley-Do-Rights who deserve a mouthful of crow. They are flawed, but then you start rooting for them.

About halfway through there's a moment of realization that you're rooting for both sides.

I was worried because it's hard to pull off a loss in a novel without alienating your audience. And this book sets up so you can't help but root for the loser. Without spoiling the ending, I have to say I wasn't disappointed.

I also should note that I rather liked Colfer's take on the fey creatures. There's nothing there we haven't seen before, but his take is fresh. Though I don't think there's really a way a centaur could do some of the things Foaly does, and Mulch drops into potty humor readily.

And on the Fairy environmentalism, it is inconsistant in two things. With the environmental concerns Holly expresses against humanity, there should be no place for either petrol (gasoline) engines or the bio-bomb in Fairy society.

Book Review: HMS Surprise by Patrick O'Brian

2008-04-17T15:44:00.002-06:00

Synopsis: Jack Aubrey is arrested for debt, gets out, gets a new command, goes to India, and fights the French.

The real attraction for me in this series is the social dynamic. The way the characters get along, even with obviously hostile folk, draws me in. It sparkles. It's so different from our crass modern society.

This book returns to the fun of Master and Commander. And I think that's because much of the time is spent asea. In reading this, I realized why Post Captain irritated at times. I love Jack Aubrey. He's one of my all-time favorite characters. I can read about him doing nigh on anything. But you want to be able to root for a character with some expectation of him winning. Jack Aubrey will never win on land.

But at sea he is awesome. While we've seen him lose, we know he can win even when it's his small ship versus an entire fleet of the enemy. And O'Brian so immerses you in his world that you can smell the gunpowder.

Highlights: Rescuing Dr. Maturin from the French. Storms and albatrosses. Surgery to remove a ball from the pericardium. Surprise vs. the French fleet. Sneaking up behind a friendly ship and shouting, "Surprise" (not really much of a scene, but I found it particularly hilarious at the time). I'd go into detail about each of these scenes, but all I would say is that they are cool and spoil them for those who haven't read this yet.

Book Review: The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman

2008-04-02T17:52:00.007-06:00

Synopsis: In the third book of the His Dark Materials trilogy, Will and Lyra join forces again to save the entire multiverse.

First things first, now that I've completed this book, I can think about the series as a whole. Probably the best way to see it would be to consider each of the three books as an act in a single larger story. That solves a lot of the pacing/plotline problems of the previous books (except that each book should ideally stand alone by plot). This book has the second part of act 2 and act 3.

I came into this book with high hopes. The reviews I've read about the greatness of the series all talk about the series itself, not individual books. So I'd hoped this book would pull the rest together and solve my problems. I don't like going around maundering that the emperor isn't wearing clothes. It makes most people think you're either stupid or bad at your job. But when you see His Eminence wandering down the street like a jaybird, you can't just go along with the crowd that insists he's dressed (that's actually the point Pullman is trying to make in this series).

Unfortunately, The Amber Spyglass didn't live up to my hopes. It has the same dragging pace as the other books. That pace finally picks up once Will rescues Lyra and they embark on their quest to destroy death. As I think back now, having finished the book less than 2 hours ago, I can't really think of anything groundbreaking or even new in this book. The closest thing are the Mulefas, think motorcycle-tapirs, and their tallship-swan enemies, but I had such a hard time suspending disbelief at the entire world they inhabited (it wouldn't have been so bad if either Pullman didn't keep insisting they had evolved that way or if I hadn't studied evolution, thermodynamics, or Occam's Razor, as much as I have) that they left me with a bitter taste.

That said, it's a rare series where the final book has a worse case of worldbuilder's disease than the preceeding ones. But that was one of the major problems this book had. Once more, the actual theological implications (God's evil, not actually a god, and needs killin') doesn't bother me except that the forces of said evil god are so patently evil that only the utterly evil or utterly stupid would be on that side (yes, I realize that's a standard atheistic argument, but that actually makes it worse, being unoriginal). And that leads me to my other problems with the agenda: The arguments are terribly prosaic, and the agenda itself often gets in the way of the story.

On a somewhat ironic sidenote, you'd think a story about killing God would refrain from deus ex machina. And yet god crawls out of the machine several times, once in the literal sense of an angel appearing. All it was missing was the crane.

I could go on and on about what was wrong with the story, but the vast majority falls under the cover that I don't ask for much from a story, but internal consistancy is one of them. That, and I ask for the protagonist to act. And I ask for the plot to have some kind of direction. And I ask for the resolution to make some kind of sense.

The denouement of the book (and series) is heartbreaking for the first several pages. And had Pullman ended there, it might have left me with such a powerful emotion that my retrospect on the entire series would be colored by it. But the ending passed through heartbreaking to melodramatic and on into annoying. It's a simple matter of too much of a good thing. As it is, I like the series more for it,

One final note, I always heard that the British were averse to violence. And I thought these books were targeted at kids. But there's some seriously graphic descriptions in here. A reader of Robert Jordan would be familiar with the battle of Dumai's Wells, where hundreds of people are turned into sausage with magic. While that's surely messier than anything that happens in this book, there aren't any lovingly crafted descriptions of sinew, blood, and guts spattering and misting from wounds.

So there it is. The entire His Dark Materials trilogy. I wouldn't say it's terrible. I wouldn't say it's good either. It's a story that could probably have been better told with simplification (The vast majority of what happens in all three books is episodic, not impacting the overall plot much at all.), being cut down to a single book with a tight plot and less browbeating. I think I'd actually really like a book like that.

Book Review: Post Captain by Patrick O'Brian

2008-04-01T15:19:00.003-06:00

Synopsis: In the beginning days of the Napoleonic wars, Jack Aubrey and Stephen Maturin look for love, return to the sea, and advance in their careers.

Probably the easiest way to describe this book is to say it's Master and Commander in reverse. The exact events happen, but their sequence is almost perfectly reversed. Thus, when you consider how slow the denouement of Master and Commander was, it should be fairly clear that the beginning of Post Captain was slow. We're almost halfway through the book before Aubrey gets his new command.

That said, once we finally get Jack out to sea again, the book becomes a joy. There is something about the interpersonal relationships and sociality in these books. It's just fun to read. There is a kind of joy to everything, including being mugged.

The romantic plot of the book annoyed me. It wasn't bad. It seemed almost lifted from a Jane Austin novel. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but when you want a story of high-seas adventure, you don't really want Mr. Darcy.

Book Review: The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen

2008-03-18T11:08:00.003-06:00

Synopsis: A dysfunctional family tries to get together for one last Christmas before their father loses his mind.

My first thought when I was less than halfway (probably less than quarter-way) through this was, "I am so glad I'm not a WASP." Then it was, "Holy hell! Do people actually treat each other like this? Am I so sheltered?"

I have heard people call my family dysfunctional. Growing up, we resembled the show Malcolm in the Middle (Incidentally, I was Dewey, the youngest before they underwent an add-a-kid because no one was watching anymore). So I don't think I have a rosy-colored image of utopian, idyllic family life. But my goodness, the characters in this book are so miserable to each other. If it wasn't a National Book Award winner, I probably wouldn't have gotten all the way through it.

It's not that it was poorly written (quite the contrary). If it was poorly written, there's no way I would have gotten through it. One of the things that one needs to think about when writing if one wants lots of people to actually read the book (not commonly a concern in lit fic--which reminds me that I still need to write my lit fic post...) is whether the reader is going to want to spend so much time with these characters. And I really didn't want to spend any time with these people. Especially Greg's family.

Have you ever been out with a couple (or had them over), and they start arguing and nipping at each other? You know that uncomfortable feeling of just wanting to get out? Yeah, that's what reading The Corrections is like.

The book is probably twice as long as it really should be. (yes, I know I'm an unpublished writer criticizing a NBA winner.) A lot of time is spent with flashbacks, presumably to give us background on the current situation, but a paragraph or two would have been as effective as the dozens of pages Franzen used.

As in my synopsis, the plot revolves around getting together for Christmas. Once they finally do, the story really picks up. It's obvious the publisher felt the same since the back cover copy specifically mentions that the end pulls everything together. I'll admit, I really liked most of the ending. Chip has such a wonderful arc. Watching his redemption, I felt pressure building behind my eyes. I don't cry much, so for me, that's the equivalent of weeping.

Then we get the point of view of Alfred finding himself at the end of his life and abandoned. We get to see how everything he did, everything that his wife hates him for, he did for his children, and they don't even know. He is so tragic. It's beautiful. I really connected to him there. I wish Franzen ended the book here.

Instead, he ends with Enid. We learn that she's learned to be more liberal and love life more once she got rid of Alfred. She criticizes no one. Except Alfred, toward whom she's just horrific. And she has a great relief and awakening when Alfred dies. That totally left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Franzen made me relate to Alfred and ends the book by returning to bashing him. At that point, he's bashing me.

The ending really helped the book, but it was too little, too late. Perhaps if we didn't have the final Enid POV, it would have worked for me.

One more thing...What's with literary fiction and sex? I read lots of genre fiction (admittedly not romance or erotica), but I have never encountered as much graphic and ultimately gratuitous sex as I have in literary. I don't mind sex in stories, but it should actually help the plot. It should be important both in presence and level of detail. I'll go into this more whenever I get around to my fabled literary post.

Book Review: Gentlemen of the Road by Michael Chabon

2008-03-07T15:54:00.004-07:00

Synopsis: A couple of men conning their way through first millennium AD southeastern Europe get caught up defending a deposed prince and escorting him back to his kingdom to confront the usurper.

According to the afterword, Chabon's working title had been Jews with Swords. That's basically what the story is. The main characters are Jewish as is the prince and the usurped kingdom. Beside that, the religion is basically invisible. While there is a little plot connected to religious strife, it could be any two religions involved. The reason I bring this up is because many books these days seem to just belabor religion and grind their axes to nubs. This is not what Chabon does. And he does it right.

The story is entertaining, and the characters are interesting. Both are somewhat formulaic. The tale is somewhat common in the adventure genre, but Chabon tells it well. The story is short, which I always figure if you don't have an original story, it's best if you keep it brief. Nothing's worse than a writer who drags out his rehash interminably.

Chabon's prose is always enjoyable. I think I need to do a post just about literary fiction. I'm finding I love it when it's really well done. Then there's the other type...but that's another topic.

Book Review: Mort by Terry Pratchett

2008-03-05T14:54:00.003-07:00

Synopsis: Death gets an apprentice and turns over much of his Duty to him. Then Death goes off to see what else there is to life.

Of the Discworld novels I've read, this is my favorite. Then again, Death is my favorite of Pratchett's characters. The least human of his characters, and yet the most human at the same time.

This book had a fully-established plotline with twists and tension and everything. I've found Pratchett's previous books (considering them in chronological order, which is how I'm reading them) somewhat lacked a coherent plot. Instead of the story, the reader is dragged through the books by Pratchett's wit. Mort doesn't have that problem although Pratchett's wit is as sharp as ever (sharper, I'd say).

An enjoyable book. What else is there to say?

Book Review: Everyman by Philip Roth

2008-03-04T15:29:00.002-07:00

Synopsis: A man dies and we see flashbacks of him growing up, committing adultery, and wasting away as an old man.

My first thought upon picking up this book was how short it was. But after reading it, I realize that its brevity is a good thing. This book has no plot in the traditional sense. Nothing truly original happens to the focal character. He is, as the title suggests, an everyman. So if it were any longer, it would have been insufferable. But as it is, the shortness and lock of real story are a perfect match for the gravity of the subject.

He's not a good man. He's not particularly evil, but he's not the type whose company I would enjoy for more than a few hours. His interpersonal skills (especially with those to whom he should be close--wives, children, etc.) are woeful. He's not a hero. He's not anyone to be envied. He's someone to relate to even in his differences.

I sincerely hope the average person is not like the main character, but by averages and sociology, he probably is representative of his generation.

By what I've said so far, you might think I didn't like this book. That's actually (surprisingly) not true, after a fashion. This book is one of those that makes you think about life itself. It's not a book to enjoy, it's a book to ponder.

The subject is death and the protagonist's interface with it. Roth carefully lays out his character's atheism so questions and fears of death are not easily resolved by an appeal to God. It's an interface between man and the void. As the main character comes to terms with it, the reader is invited to do the same.

I have to admit, the final connection the character makes is false. He sees the honor and value of his bones sharing the earth with the bones of his forebears and in his mind hears the voice of his deceased parents comforting him. Thus, really comes to terms with the sociality of the dead, a pseudo afterlife, rather than the void. But then, I doubt it's possible to relate coming to grips with nothingness in such a way that anyone but you feels the connection.

Despite his failings, I couldn't help relating to the main character (as I believe was the point). He fears death because he loves life and would miss his daughter. As a teenager, I realized how much life sucks and so lost my fear of death completely (maybe someday, I'll put on a Cure CD and elaborate. But then, no one, not even me, wants to read that). But now, I have fear and it comes from my family. I fear not seeing my children grow up. I fear the difficulties my family would have without me. I fear grieving them. But death itself, the actual mechanic, holds no terror for me. So I can relate to the concept of family being the tether to life.

Having been ill this last year, I have recognized my own frailty and mortality. Thus, I found the parts of the book where the main character is old with failing health particularly poignant. The loneliness of old age, the pain of chronic illness, and the decline of both physical and mental ability: now that's terror to me.

It should be noted that a chunk of this book contains fairly graphic sexual scenes. If such offends you, you would probably be well served to skip ahead. Besides the graphic (and frankly gratuitous) sex, my only true criticism would be that there are moments where strong language (f***, usually) is used where another word would suffice. I'm not overly prudish, but such words have within them a punch to the jaw. If the punch is not intended (and in these cases, I don't see why it would have been), a softer word is usually better.

Book Review: Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brian

2008-03-02T20:37:00.003-07:00

Synopsis: Captain Jack Aubrey sets out on his first command with Dr. Stephen Maturin, his surgeon and best friend, in tow.

This book begins a 20 book series (21 if you count the manuscript left behind when O'Brian died). I have to say it is just plain delightful. We first meet Aubrey at a concert where he is humming and beating time on his knee (off beat, mind you). His neighbor in the audience is Dr. Maturin, whom Aubrey has yet to meet. Dr. Maturin calls Aubrey down for boorishness, and they part with all signs pointing to a dust-up in the offing.

They meet the next morning and sit down to a nice breakfast.

This scene sets the feeling for the entire book. It transports you to a world of honor and civility. And that world is so well fleshed out, at times it becomes hard to realize you're not actually living in it.

For most of the book, it seems to have an episodic plot. It's not until near the climax that you realize you would have been disappointed if it hadn't turned out thus. But before then, I found myself thinking the story could end at any time and I'd hardly notice. The denouement somewhat fell apart under its own weight. Regardless, I found the book just plain enjoyable.

I actually found nautical phrases and anecdotes crreping into my daily conversation. That said, its important to understand that O'brian assumes the reader understands his nautical lingo and so doesn't explain it. Some comes from context, but unless you're at least moderately-versed in maritme language, you might want to have at hand a good dictionary, the internet, or the Patrick O'brian companion lexicon A Sea of Words by Dean King.

Book Review: Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie

2008-02-24T21:45:00.002-07:00

Synopsis: Really, now. If you don't know the story of Peter Pan... A girl and her two brothers travel to Neverland with The Boy Who Never Grew Up, and adventure ensues.

This book was an absolute delight to read. The writing is sketchy--it's obvious it is a novelization of a play. The scenes and lines of the play are strong, but then weak links connect them.

It was especially nice to see Barrie's script for myself and not someone else's interpretation. One of the things we learn is that Peter Pan is not the selfless hero he's made out to be in pretty much every interpretation I've seen. He is the embodyment of little boys. Good and bad. Remember those kids who picked on you in third grade, Peter partakes of them as much as he partakes of your idealized best friend from that time. Sure, he saves the day regularly, but only because it's a game to him. It's just as likely that he'll lose interest and let you die.

It's also amazing how much of what I "knew" about Peter Pan wasn't true. Example: Neverland does not, in fact, lie at "Second star on the right and straight on till morning." First, the actual line from Peter is "Second to the right and straight on till morning." Second, the narrator explicitly states that it is not true. It's just something Peter says. The actual flight to Neverland takes an indeterminate amount of time greater than a couple of days.

The "Clap if you believe in faeries" line was the weakest I've ever seen it. And understandably so. The key to that scene in the play is the interplay between the actor playing Peter and the audience. On paper, it just doesn't have power. Of course, I've always had a soft spot for that scene, considering my own mild Peter Pan Complex. Oh, and Peter is addressing the thousands of sleeping boys and girls around the world in that scene. When children dream, their minds come close to Neverland. So that means the 2003 movie Peter Pan is the most true-to-the-original version I've seen.

Another interesting note--a lot of the scenes from the movie Hook actually come from this book. Also...wow. I haven't seen a body count like this outside of Hamlet.

It's not every year someone writes a story (for children or adults) that has the originality and power that Peter Pan has. Makes me wish more modern writers had the devotion to the sense of wonder that Barrie had. Especially those who write for children.

Book Review: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy

2008-02-12T22:46:00.002-07:00

Synopsis: A kid runs away from home and hooks up with a band of mercenaries who then spend the rest of the book killing lots people for reasons not clearly explained. All of this done without the use of quotation marks or commas.

I have now read three novels by Cormac McCarthy, and he's my favorite recently discovered (by me) writer. This book was my least favorite of the three. Of course, when I finished the others, I was somewhat lukewarm until they had marinated in my brain for a few days. Then the genius of the works hit me. Maybe that will be the case again, but I was much more on the cold side of lukewarm upon finishing this book.

The major problem was a lack of direction. We spent lots of time killing indians and carousing, and such, but none of it seemed to be toward any appreciable end. I'm clear that it is an unedited look at the way life really was in during the settling of the west and the aftermath of the Mexican-American war. It's an expose on violence. But it doesn't have a plot.

One of the characters is an enigmatic "Judge" named Holden. I still haven't decided whether he is a personification of war or of violence.

I've read reviews that comment on this book revealing our fathers and their sins. If that was the point, it was lost on me. I don't believe in liberal guilt. I do not believe in reparations of past wrongs. I am not responsible for the sins of my fathers. Neither are my children responsible for my sins. And besides, none of my ancestors were involved in the settlement of the west.

The last few pages, when McCarthy pounds home the point of the book, are absolutely beautiful. If, in a few days, I decide this book is better than I give it credit, it will have been these last pages that did it. McCarthy is a brillient writer and composes some of the most timeless prose. Half of the lyrical passages are what I have come to expect from McCarthy.

The other half left me saying, "What the hell was THAT supposed to be?" I had to reread such passages three or four times to pull ANY meaning from them (even literal). While literary analysis finds no fault with passages that you have to stop to digest, I'm a pragmatic reader and writer. If you have to stop, detach completely from the story, and mull, there's something wrong.

But then again, everything else I've read of McCarthy has appreciated with time. Perhaps this will, too.

Book Review: The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman

2008-02-06T22:43:00.000-07:00

Synopsis: Lyra returns in the second novel of the His Dark Materials trilogy. This time she is paired with Will Parry, a twelve-year-old from (what is apparently) our world. They work together to procure a special weapon and find Will's father.

I rather like the character of Will Parry. He's the first character to not turn me off within a hundred pages of meeting him. One thing I noticed was that it seems someone told Pullman Lyra wasn't very likable after The Golden Compass came out. He spends a lot of time having secondary characters swear that they'd never met a more noble and wonderful child than Lyra.

Anyway, the major problem the book has is that there is no plot. The children want to get the subtle knife and find Will's father. That's it. There is no climax. There is no rising action. There are two goals, both of which resolve themselves with minimal effort by the protagonists.

The issue of religion is much larger in this book. Before I read the series, one of my friends mentioned that it wasn't anti-religious; it was satanic. I have to agree. We find our characters deciding that when the Authority (God) defeated the rebellious angels, the wrong side won. As I've said before, such a storyline doesn't immediately turn me away. But Pullman's handling is just so dark, cynical, and pedantic. I really would prefer to review this book without discussing the religion, but it's the proverbial 5000 pound elephant. I mean, at one point Ms. Coulter is torturing a witch and says, "In this church we have a thousand years of experience with torture." Everyone who is at all for religion is completely and unabashedly evil.

And that's just plain unbelieveable. One of the characters is a former nun who is now a physicist. She discovers dark matter (or Dust, as Lyra's world calls it) and learns to communicate with it. She quickly learns that the intelligence communicating through the dust belongs to the rebellious angels. Or as he nun training would have phrase it--the Devil. Now, she left the church because of a lack of faith. But when the Devil starts telling her what to do, she doesn't bat an eye. But, then again, she is a good guy, and therefore (apparently) hates God (not just disbelieves).

The major anti-religious/satanic problem with the book is that none of it is original or even well done. Pullman's argument is that God and religion strive to take away all the pleasure of life and control people (why we're never told). And all the conflict and strife of the world is the result of religion. I won't argue that religion doesn't cause strife. It does. But to suggest that it's even the primary cause is simplification ad absurdum. It completely ignores all other political, social, and economic roots.

The story also follows The Golden Compass in poor worldbuilding. The only world that seems at all fleshed out is (surprisingly) our world. The world of Cittagazze, where the subtle knife was forged, is a world of children. Soul-eating Specters haunt the world devouring adults (except where the plot says they shouldn't, at which point they are powerless thralls or oddly absent). This has gone on for three hundred years, we're told. Yet there are still children and perishable foods that the children scavenge.

The witches are one big deus ex machina (Or perhaps it should be lamia ex machina since we are killing God). At one point Lyra exclaims (to the effect of), "Isn't it lucky they showed up just in time to save us!"

Overall, the book left me with a bad taste. None of it sparkled, it had no plot, and what story there was was overburdened by Pullman beating his dead horse with another dead horse.

Book Review: Shock by Robin Cook

2008-02-04T22:59:00.000-07:00

Synopsis: Two Harvard PhD candidates decide to sell some of their eggs so they can get away from their tiresome lives and finish their theses. After returning from an extended trip, they decide to find out what happened to their eggs. They find themselves neck deep in a scheme involving cloning.

I have to say it's nice to read a thriller where the author obviously knows science. The story was interesting but never really turned into suspense for me. If I hadn't come up with the template I started using a few reviews ago, my log line for this book would have been: "Two ditzy Harvard PhDs confront ruthless geneticists."

And there we get the problem: The protagonists are so awkward in their investigation that the villains have to be stupid not to know what's going on. And so the tension doesn't really develop. So it's a thriller by genre, but it doesn't give me the edge-of-the-seat feel of a thriller. And the ending wasn't quite deus ex machina, but it was close. Though it lacks a true climax and all but sparce denouement.

Style-wise it's obvious that Cook's training is in medicine, not writing. His primary issues are said bookisms ("It's true," she avered. "No, it's not," he asserted. "Stop fighting with me!" she ejaculated. etc...) and a wandering point of view that can't decide to whom it belongs.

Oh yeah, that reminds me. "A very lot." Really? "A VERY lot." I can see that sounding good to Cook (I find things like that in my own work, sometimes), but you'd think someone would have said something before it was published. Maybe they did.

Despite its faults, it was a decent read.

New Content and Feeds

2008-02-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

I'll be rolling out a new feature called "A Lone Voice" tonight. It's basically where I will be spouting my views about subjects in which my opinion is (apparently) the minority (or perhaps unique). This is where you will find (possibly regularly) rants about how bad a writer William Faulkner was, how overrated a season Winter is, and where insurance adjusters can go (though, that's probably not a rare opinion). Basically, you can use it as a barometer to know when I've come off my meds (actually, I'm not on any) or should probably be put on them. Forcibly.

Any of you who subscribe to this blog by feed (hopefully someone's doing that or this Lone Voice is echoing in an empty room) can choose to subscribe by Labels. So you can receive only my Book Reviews by citing your subscription feed as:

http://jmpeltier.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default/-/Book Review

You can similarly subscribe to only "A Lone Voice" or perhaps "Faulkner" by subsituting them for "Book Review" in the line above. I'll try to keep up with my labels. If you have any suggestions for future labels either email me or leave a comment.

Book Review: Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett

2008-01-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

Synopsis: A dying wizard passes on his power to the eight child of an eighth son, unaware that the child is, in fact, a girl. Thus, Esk Smith grows up possessing the power of wizard magic--the first female to do so. It falls to Granny Weatherwax to get her to Ankh-Morpork and the Unseen University where she can learn her magic. The only problem is that Unseen University has a strict "No Women" policy.

The third novel in the Discworld series, this is the fourth book by Terry Pratchett I've read. I'd also have to say it was my least favorite. That isn't to say it isn't a good book. It's just a book that's easy to put down and doesn't nip at you to pick it back up. And hey, this is the book where you first meet Granny Weatherwax. She's such a great character.

While the book was amusing, overall, I think I only laughed out loud once. And looking back now, I can't even remember that joke. In fact, I can't really dredge up much about it for this review. I guess that pretty much defines it as mediocre. It was entertaining enough for me to not feel cheated, but it wasn't really that memorable.

Book Review: Angels and Demons by Dan Brown

2008-01-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

Synopsis: Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is called in to consult on the (apparently ritualistic) murder of a scientist in Switzerland. He then finds himself thrust into the middle of a scheme to steal a half gram of antimatter, kill members of the Catholic College of Cardinals, and vaporize the Vatican.

What can I say about Dan Brown? I'm floored by his popularity. Even before I learned the craft of writing, I wouldn't have liked anything he writes. Yes, they are all high-tension edge-of-your-seat thrillers, but all of the tension in them relies on tricks such as holding back information, unrealistic conflict-for-the-sake-of-conflict, and characters who must have IQs in the low fifties (side note: average IQ is defined as 100).

The best thing I can say (and I don't mean this as an ad hominum attack, it's simply the only way I can explain what works) is that Dan Brown is a man of average intelligence writing puzzle thrillers involving a genius character. The downside is that you can't write a puzzle above your intelligence level, so in order to make the puzzle work, he has to make all of his characters stupid.

For instance: the Italian scientist raised by a Catholic priest who after a short talk about the Catholic church sees her boss on the phone with someone important. Her boss says, "Go to Rome." When asked who was on the phone, her boss--who is going into acute repiratory failure--chokes out "The Swiss--". And she turns to Langdon and says, "What do the Swiss have to do with Rome?" (In case anyone reading this thinks that's a good question: Welcome. Please stay a while and enjoy the fount of knowledge that is the internet. And the Pope, who lives in Rome, is guarded by an elite group of famous--if only for their uniforms--soldiers called the Swiss Guard.) That question is almost as bad as 90% of the people in the book having never heard of the Illuminati, and Langdon being surprised when anyone but him knows about them.

The entire book is filled with plot holes, awkward characterization (you can guess the entire climax of the book just by reading the couple paragraph sidebars that accompany the introduction of each new character and deliniate their esoteric skill sets), stupid puzzles that aren't puzzles, and bad science. I mean, BAD science. There's a point where they're talking about the murdered scientist and how he created matter from nothing (ex nihilo) in violation of the laws of physics. All he needed was a huge supply of energy. That's not creation ex nihilo. That's creation of matter from a huge supply of energy. It doesn't violate any laws--it just runs E=mc^2 backward. An accomplishment in itself, but nothing revelatory. The science goes down hill from there. I won't go into specific detail, you'll have to read it and be angry yourself. Really, Dan Brown needs to do his research better, or at least bounce ideas off someone who knows anything.

And at the end Langdon just stands around while everything resolves itself. Yes, he set the ending into motion, but he didn't even need to be present for the last eighth of the book.

Book Review: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

2008-01-21T21:51:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to read Fahrenheit 451 for years, and I finally got around to it this past week. For anyone who doesn't know, the basic plot is Guy Montag, a fireman whose job it is to burn books in his dystopian society. Then he learns that books can contain good things and has to survive his change of mind.

The book is Ray Bradbury's railing against the changing world, and it's loss of the innocence of simple life. In that sense, it is somewhat pedantic.

What struck me most about the book was that it is not, in fact, about censorship. In a small way it is, but the true problem in the world is the lack of interpersonal relationships among the people. The people struck out to prevent anyone from feeling uncomfortable or stupid, and so they outlawed intellectualism. The government didn't foist censorship upon the people. The people asked for censorship because they weren't using their brains and didn't want to feel bad about it.

I can't help but draw connection to our own world. We reward stupidity in our society. Just watch TV for a while or read the news of recent civil lawsuits, and that should be clear enough. And the story has been about for weeks about how no one reads anymore (actually, the majority of people did read 2 or more books last year, but never let statistics get in the way of a good rant).

The point is we get the society we deserve, and unless we work against it, our society will decline like all others in history have. Only we'll have better weapons and technology to make the fall more interesting.

Book Review: The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon

2008-01-16T23:01:00.000-07:00

This book straddles three genres: Literary, crime/detective, and alternate-history science fiction. Overtly a hard-nosed detective story, it is set in Sitka, Alaska where, in Chabon's alternate history, the US set up a temporary settlement for European Jews during the early days of World War II. Meyer Landsman, a detective for the Sitka Central police, becomes involved in a case of a gunshot corpse found in the hotel where Landsman, himself, also lives. The case leads to a conspiracy involving covert US government agents and a zealously orthodox sect controlling all of Sitka's organized crime. And the conspiracy has tendrils that reach out to the entire world.

With engaging prose and vibrant characters, the story maintains interest throughout even when the plot seems to spin somewhat out of Chabon's control. Most of the conspiracy happens off screen (actually a decent way to handle a conspiracy plot, which is becoming increasingly hackneyed--I mean, really, can't we have a story with an act two twist that doesn't involve a vast international conspiracy?), and the original crime is solved almost as an afterthought. But, hey, Landsman protagged throughout, and didn't just sit around during the climax.

The main theme of the book is redemption. And it tells its story well. It's a book about coming to terms with oneself, one's society, and the world. In a way it's almost apocalyptic (the Sitka settlement is in the process of being disbanded), and it speaks to the human need to find something to hold on to, something to save, when the world is dissolving around you. This book has stuck with me more than any other book I've read recently (with the possible exception of Cormac McCarthy's No Country for Old Men).

Chabon's world is well-drawn. I found myself, at random times, thinking about events of Chabon's history and their implications as if they actually happened. Someday, I hope to be half, even one tenth, the writer Chabon is.

Book Review: The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman

2008-01-10T15:55:00.000-07:00

I came into this book not knowing much about it aside from the hoop-di-doo that surrounded the release of its movie. And so I ran out to get the book so I could judge it for myself.

First a plot review though: Lyra is an obnoxious little girl living on the campus of Jordan College in Oxford. She spends her times playing with her demon Pan and throwing rocks at other children. That and desecrating the tombs beneath the college. When children start disappearing, the people begin passing tales of the gobblers, who steal children for nefarious reasons.

Lyra's best friend is kidnapped and she leaves in the company of Mrs. Coulter. When she leaves the master of the college gives her an alethiometer, a magical device that tells you the correct answer to any question you ask it. She soon realizes that Mrs. Coulter is the head of the gobblers and runs away. She soon finds herself in the middle of the artic taking part in war between armored polar bears and finding out what the gobblers' plan really is.

Upon reading this, I have to say I wasn't very impressed. Neither the world nor the characters really seems to have a past stretching back before page 1. And Lyra travels through the story barely acting, but mostly being acted upon. Things happen to her, she gets upset, and then the things resolve. None of that really lends itself any feeling of tension.

A quick primer in plot... A story starts with the reader completely disoriented and so the first order is to introduce characters, world, and conflict. Hopefully, the author does that in an engaging method that makes you loath to put down the book. Then, the hero's plans to resolve the conflict repeated fail, constantly raising the stakes and tension. Finally, you reach the climax where hero and villain duke it out and only one can emerge victorious. After that comes the denouement where tension drains away and you put down the book feeling like you've actually been through something. Literature classes use a diagram like this to show how such a plot progesses:

The Golden Compass doesn't have a plot diagram like this. It doesn't have rising action, climax, and falling action. Instead, it has a diagram like this (my best estimation):

Yes, there is, in fact, a point in the middle where the tension is lower than it is at the beginning. Really, the entire book felt like it was only Act 1 of a bigger story. Yes, I'm aware it's the first book in a trilogy, but even in trilogies, each book should be able to stand alone as a book in and of itself.

Now, let's talk about the ending. I hate endings where there is absolutely no victory for the protagonist (not to say I don't do sad endings. They can be cool, but even then it's nice to have at least some feeling of victory at the end). I also hate endings where the hero does nothing but watch the climax. This does both. Yes, Lyra watches the entire climax without really acting as she loses.

As for the anti-religious aspects that were big in the news. There's not that much until you get to the very end. Then it gets really preachy about how organized religion (its world's Catholic Church) is evil. And wow does he lay it on. I seriously can't see how anyone could take it seriously. The Magisterium is such a straw man for Pullman to beat on, it's really ridiculous.

My other major issue was that the only way I had any tension was by assuming the heroes were all stupid. The alethiometer can tell you anything, and yet the heroes are constantly caught by surprise because they only use it when the plot needs them to go in some new direction. They spend the rest of the time wondering what will happen next, but never consult it. If people actually used it properly, they'd conquer the entire universe without any real opposition.

That said, I want a demon.

Book Review: The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett

2008-01-08T21:13:00.000-07:00

When a new star appears in the Discworld heavens and quickly grows to dwarf the sun, that, needless to say, causes some concern. Civilization begins to collapse as people fall into basically two camps: those who go nuts and want to kill anything that might be magic to appease the star, and those who just want to get a good view of the end of the world.

The wizards know the only way to save the world is to read the Creator's eight spells. Unfortunately, one of those spells resides in Rincewind's brain. So the manhunt is on.

The second book in the Discworld series, and the second to follow Rincewind the (failed) wizard, the Light Fantastic is a better and more funny book than its predecessor. I think the major difference was in the fact that this one had a true plot (with rising action, climax, denouement, and all).

Included in the story are Cohen the Barbarian, the 87-year-old former greatest hero in the world. Twoflower the tourist and his Luggage are also around. Overall, a delightful read.

Book Review: False Memory by Dean Koontz

2008-01-08T20:55:00.000-07:00

A man and his wife find themselves in the middle of a web of brain-washing, mind control, and repressed memory. The first half of this book is Koontz at his best. The suspense builds until you see no way the heroes can escape and you wonder who will be the twisted villain's next victim. But then things change.

By the midpoint of the book, the primary leverage the villain has on the heroes is loosened, and what remains is only social discomfort related to defeating him. Still, there is risk based on the continued threat he poses to others and that carried me through until the ending. There is a rule in fiction (I believe it was Ursula Le Guin who coined it, but don't quote me): "The protagonist must protag." The villain is defeated with the heroes not even in the same room with him.

The main conflict remaining at that point was how to stop him without ending up in prison, and then someone else does it for him. A tidy way to resolve that conflict, but I felt cheated.

On a related note: Have you ever noticed that every psychiatrist who ever shows up in a Koontz novel (even in narrated backstory) is evil? At some point in the future, I have to put together my top ten Koontz motifs.

Books Read in Previous Years

2007-12-10T23:42:00.003-07:00

2009:

1984 by George Orwell
21 by Patrick O'Brian
A Series of Unfortunate Events 1: The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket
A Series of Unfortunate Events 2: The Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket
A Series of Unfortunate Events 3: The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket
A Series of Unfortunate Events 4: The Miserable Mill by Lemony Snicket
All I Know About Animal Behavior I Learned in Loehmann's Dressing Room by Erma Bombeck
All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy
Alvin Journeyman by Orson Scott Card
America: The Book by Jon Stewart
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
Bad Luck and Trouble by Lee Child
Basket Case by Carl Hiaasen
Beowulf (translated) by Seamus Heaney
Blue at the Mizzen by Patrick O'Brian
Bones to Ashes by Kathy Reichs
Brain Droppings by George Carlin
Brothers in Arms by Lois McMaster Bujold
Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett
Cocktail Time by P. G. Wodehouse
Confessions of a Part-time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the D&D Game by Shelly Mazzanoble
Dave Barry's Money Secrets by Dave Barry
Day of the Dead By J. A. Jance
Digital Fortress by Dan Brown
Dracula by Bram Stoker
Empire by Orson Scott Card
Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett
Frankenstein: Dead and Alive by Dean Koontz
Half Moon Investigations by Eoin Colfer
Heartfire by Orson Scott Card
Hideaway by Dean Koontz
Hogfather by Terry Pratchett
I am America (And So Can You) by Stephen Colbert
I am Legend and Other Stories by Richard Matheson
In Odd We Trust by Dean Koontz and Queenie Chan
Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett
Jingo by Terry Pratchett
Liberty by Garrison Keillor
Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett
Lost Boys by Orson Scott Card
Magic Street by Orson Scott Card
Maskerade by Terry Pratchett
Memory by Lois McMaster Bujold
Men at Arms by Terry Pratchett
Mirror Dance by Lois McMaster Bujold
More Napalm and Silly Putty by George Carlin
Napalm and Silly Putty by George Carlin
Nothing to Lose by Lee Child
Octopussy and the Living Daylights by Ian Fleming
Of Mice and Magic by David Farland
On Writing by Stephen King
Oxygen by John B. Olson and Randall Ingermanson
Pastwatch: The Redemption of Christopher Columbus by Orson Scott Card
Prentice Alvin by Orson Scott Card
Red Prophet by Orson Scott Card
Relentless by Dean Koontz
Seventh Son by Orson Scott Card
Shroud for a Nightingale by P. D. James
Song of Susannah by Stephen King
Strip Tease by Carl Hiaasen
The Bad Place by Dean Koontz
The Battle for Skandia by John Flanagan
The Best of Writers of the Future (edited) by Algis Budrys
The Burning Bridge by John Flanagan
The Callahan Chronicals by Spider Robinson
The Commodore by Patrick O'Brian
The Crystal City by Orson Scott Card
The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger by Stephen King
The Dark Tower II: The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King
The Far Side of the World by Patrick O'Brian
The Fifth Elephant by Terry Pratchett
The Fifth Man by John B. Olson and Randall Ingermanson
The Five Lessons a Millionaire Taught Me About Life and Wealth by Richard Paul Evans
The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Hundred Days by Patrick O'Brian
The Icebound Land by John Flanagan
The Imperium Game by K. D. Wentworth
The Last Continent by Terry Pratchett
The Letter of Marque by Patrick O'Brian
The Murder Room by P. D. James
The Nutmeg of Consolation by Patrick O'Brian
The Prestige by Christopher Priest
The Prince by Nicolo Machiavelli
The Private Patient by P. D. James
The Ruins of Gorlan by John Flanagan
The Salmon of Doubt by Douglas Adams
The Tales of Beedle the Bard by J. K. Rowling
The Thirteen-Gun Salute by Patrick O'Brian
The Time Machine by H. G. Wells
The Truelove by Patrick O'Brian
The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells
The Wastelands: The Dark Tower III by Stephen King
The Wine-Dark Sea by Patrick O'Brian
The Wish List by Eoin Colfer
The Wizard of Ooze by David Farland
The Worthing Saga by Orson Scott Card
The Yellow Admiral by Patrick O'Brian
Thuvia, Maid of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Watchers by Dean Koontz
Watchmen by Alan Moore
When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time to Go Home by Erma Bombeck
White Jazz by James Ellroy
Wizard and Glass by Stephen King
Wolves of the Calla by Stephen King
Wrath of the Bloodeye by Joseph Delaney
Wyrms by Orson Scott Card
Your Heart Belongs to Me By Dean Koontz

2008:

Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident by Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code by Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception by Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox by Eoin Colfer
Attack of the Fiend by Joseph Delaney
Barrayar by Lois McMaster Bujold
Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy
By the Light of the Moon by Dean Koontz
Cetaganda by Lois McMaster Bujold
Chase by Dean Koontz
Cold Fire by Dean Koontz
Curse of the Bane by Joseph Delaney
Desolation Island by Patrick O'Brian
Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett
Erik by Terry Pratchett
Everyman by Philip Roth
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
False Memory by Dean Koontz
Gentlemen of the Road by Michael Chabon
Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett
HMS Surprise by Patrick O'Brian
Icebound by Dean Koontz
Intensity by Dean Koontz
Killshot by Elmore Leoneard
Lightning by Dean Koontz
Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brian
Mort by Terry Pratchett
Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett
Night of the Soul Stealer by Joseph Delaney
Odd Hours by Dean Koontz
One Door Away from Heaven by Dean Koontz
Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie
Phantoms by Dean Koontz
Post Captain by Patrick O'Brian
Pyramids by Terry Pratchett
Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett
Revenge of the Witch by Joseph Delaney
Seize the Night by Dean Koontz
Shock by Robin Cook
Small Gods by Terry Pratchett
Sole Survivor by Dean Koontz
Sourcery by Terry Pratchett
Split Images by Elmore Leonard
The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman
The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen
The Darkest Evening of the Year by Dean Koontz
The Fortune of War by Patrick O'Brian
The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman
The Hot Kid by Elmore Leonard
The Ionian Mission by Patrick O'Brian
The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett
The Mauritius Command by Patrick O'Brian
The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman
The Surgeon's Mate by Patrick O'Brian
The Voice of the Night by Dean Koontz
The Vor Game by Lois McMaster Bujold
The Warrior's Apprentice by Lois McMaster Bujold
The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon
Tick Tock by Dean Koontz
Tishomingo Blues by Elmore Leonard
Treason's Harbor by Patrick O'Brian
Up in Honey's Room by Elmore Leonard
When the Women Come Out to Dance by Elmore Leonard
Whispers by Dean Koontz
Winter Moon by Dean Koontz
Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett
Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett

2007:

Against the Day by Thomas Pynchon *Abandoned*
Animals in Translation by Temple Grandin
Blood Music by Greg Bear
Brother Odd by Dean R. Koontz
Crossover by Joel Shepherd
Cyclops by Clive Cussler
Darkfall by Dean R. Koontz
Dragon Tears by Dean R. Koontz
Elantris by Brandon Sanderson
Eldest by Christopher Paolini
Eragon by Christopher Paolini
Fear Nothing by Dean R. Koontz
Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin
Forever Odd by Dean R. Koontz
Frankenstein: City of Night by Dean R. Koontz
Frankenstein: Prodigal Son by Dean R. Koontz
From the Corner of His Eye by Dean Koontz
Golden Apples of the Sun by Ray Bradbury
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling
I Sing the Body Electric by Ray Bradbury
Knife of Dreams by Robert Jordan
Life Expectancy by Dean R. Koontz
Lost City by Clive Cussler
Mars by Ben Bova
Midnight by Dean R. Koontz
Murder at the ABA by Isaac Asimov
New Spring: The Novel by Robert Jordan
Next by Michael Crichton
No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy
Odd Thomas by Dean R. Koontz
Old Man's War by John Scalzi
Protector by Larry Niven
Ptolemy's Gate by Jonathan Stroud
Puppet Masters by Robert A. Heinlein
Ringworld by Larry Niven
Ringworld Engineers by Larry Niven
Shadow Fires by Dean R. Koontz
Shards of Honor by Lois McMaster Bujold
Songmaster by Orson Scott Card
Strangers by Dean R. Koontz
The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud
The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett
The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown
The Dresden Files: Storm Front by Jim Butcher
The Face by Dean R. Koontz
The Golem's Eye by Jonathan Stroud
The Good Guy by Dean Koontz
The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale
The Hades Factor by Robert Ludlum and Gayle Lynds
The House of Thunder by Dean R. Koontz
The Husband by Dean R. Koontz
The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury
The Lion of Commare and Other Stories, 1937-1949 by Arthur C. Clark
The Minority Report and Other Stories by Philip K. Dick
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
The Servants of Twilight by Dean R. Koontz
The Taking by Dean R. Koontz
Twilight Eyes by Dean R. Koontz
Velocity by Dean R. Koontz

Book Review: Crossover by Joel Shepherd

2007-12-10T15:38:00.001-07:00

This is the first in what I assume to be a series of Cassandra Kresnov books. I received this as a present (and something of an intervention against my then habit of only reading books on writing) and dove into it eagerly. It had won awards in Australia and was a topic of much talk at the 2006 WorldCON.

The blurbs suggested it was the greatest android novel since Philip Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? It shaped up like any number of ghost-in-the-shell stories as we follow Cassandra's (an android) attempts to show that she is a being worthy of life and freedom despite her mechanical nature.

I found myself disappointed. The first hundred or so pages had little action and all seemed designed to create a sense of ennui (or so I'm told). It didn't work for me. It served to bore me and make reading the book more a chore than an enjoyable pastime. What I noticed most in these first pages was that Cassandra Kresnov spent most of her time naked and seeking sex with human men (and sometimes women). The rest of the story became a string of emotionless gunfights and action sequences, only vaguely connected by plot.

The major failing of this book was that it never actually evoked any emotion other than boredom (and maybe vague distaste) in me. I never related to any of the characters because they never showed any real emotions. At the end of Act 2, for a moment, I thought we would have a scene that made the whole book worthwhile. One of Cassandra's friends dies, and she begins to emote. The emotional tension builds, and just before it reaches a point where it would pierce the most cynical heart Cassandra reminds herself of her mission and launches off into Act 3, leaving me to deal with the emotional fizzle and more angry than anything else.

Book Review: Brother Odd by Dean Koontz

2007-12-10T15:20:00.000-07:00

The third installment of the Odd Thomas novels finds Odd living in a monastery attempting to recoup from his previous adventures. It's a good life until Odd begins seeing bodachs, mysterious black figures that always precede tragedy. Now he must figure out the source of the danger before it claims the lives of both the monks and the sick children for whom they care. Along the way, he's helped once again by the ghost of Elvis. This time a canine ghost helps, too.

Part of the villainy in this novel is perpetrated by monsters formed of complexly woven bone-like fragments (explained at the end, but here left with the original descriptions). These monsters are freaky, but after the fairly mundane villains Odd has faced in the past, they seemed a bit much. Sure they were scary, but after satanists and voodoo cultists, the true villain of the story was just too outlandish for me.

Overall, this is a good book, but I'm not sure which of Forever Odd or Brother Odd is my least favorite of the series. I'm leaning toward Brother Odd, though, because while its plot is better than that of Forever Odd, it's not really much more than a rehashing of Odd Thomas.

It ends with a touching and heartfelt scene between Odd and Elvis, and the final page left me awaiting the next Odd Thomas novel.

So I lied.

2007-12-06T15:22:00.001-07:00

Current Project: The Adventures of Algernon Oldman, Hero Maker. Chapter 5.

I guess it has been until December before I got around to posting again. Let's see... catching up. I finished my Writers of the Future story on September 29th. It came in at almost exactly 10,000 words. After that, I spent some time decompressing and started rewriting what I had done in before the WotF story. I found it impossible to step back into the novel where I left off, so I'm using ramping back up to speed as an excuse to rewrite.

I've been working on Chapter 5 for a couple of weeks now. I just couldn't get any scene with my character Gareth Tythingman to not suck. I finally realized it was because I only had a caricature of him in my mind. And it wasn't evan a good caricature. Last night I spent plenty of time working on fleshing him out and the scene is starting to work.

There just isn't enough time

2007-09-18T22:56:00.000-06:00

Current Project: WoTF short story 2900 words in.

I haven't posted in a while, and I probably won't for a couple more weeks. I'm in the process of working down to a deadline of September 30th, so I need to spend my time writing things that aren't his blog.

I am making progress on my WotF story. It's been taking a long time because I've restarted it 3 times. I just couldn't find the right feeling for it. I think I have it now. It seems the right course was to start it later into the story than where I originally wanted to start. What was bothering me, I now know in hindsight, was that I was putting off the start of action for some 2000 words into the story. I'm sure you can guess why that's a problem.

I've now reached the end of Act 1. So I've got to finish the rest of the story now. That's actually not very hard to do once you have the right start. I've found stories tend to write themselves once you give them enough momentum.

I should say, though, that I probably won't get around to another post until October.

Book Review: Odd Thomas by Dean R. Koontz

2007-08-30T20:57:00.000-06:00

Odd Thomas leads an unusual life. He sees the spirits of the dead that linger on in our world. More than that, he sees bodachs, dark spirits that precede catastrophes. When hordes of bodachs appear in the streets of Pico Mundo, Odd's hometown, He embarks on a quest to discover and prevent the looming disaster.

The beginning of this novel is, perhaps, my favorite of all time. Odd's first-person narration engages from the start, and within the first 1000 words, we are propelled into a frenetic chase.

With sparkling characters, constant suspense, and Odd's trademark wit, the novel enthralls from beginning to end. In fact, as I think on it, I honestly can't think of anything I wish Koontz had done differently. And I usually pride myself on being literarily pessimistic.

If you've yet to read this book, get to it. You'll enjoy it, if only for Elvis's cameos.

Book Review: Blood Music By Greg Bear

2007-08-28T15:44:00.000-06:00

What can I say about Blood Music? It's enjoyable and keeps attention, but I can't escape the verdict that it was hopelessly predictable. Maybe that's because it was written more than twenty years ago and the same plot and concept have since been done, but nothing that happened caught me the least by surprise.

It is a story of what happens when genetic engineering goes awry. The result is an apocalyptic cataclysm ultimately resulting in a bio-gray goo scenerio.

As I said, it kept my attention and I enjoyed it, which speaks well for the writing, but I think the fact that I felt no lasting connection to a focal character (they kept turning into gray goo and, thus, disappearing) kept me from being more invested in the story. It's amazing how important it is to be grounded in a character. After all, that's how we know, as readers, whom to root for and whom to wish death upon.

As it stood, this book seemed more a collection of short stories united in a common situation than it did a single coherent novel.

You'd think being a writer involved writing...

2007-08-27T20:14:00.000-06:00

Current Project: WoTF short story -- Character work. Plus editing for Final Redoubt.

I'm not making the progress I'd like on my story. I have my plot, characters, and world, but it's just not coming together. So tonight I'm working on a technique to get to know my characters a little better. I don't think they've quite come to life in my mind yet. It's amazing how easy writing tends to become once your characters are alive. It becomes a process of chronicling their adventures rather than making it all up.

It's probably for the best that I'm not going to be writing much actualy prose tonight. It's been an exhausting day. I've had the joy of fighting with my insurance company about covering my child's birth. That, and the headphone jack on my mp3 player has decided to go fritzy on its connection. So I'm kinda fried. I really shouldn't let these things bother me, but I tend to be a worrier.

Book Review: Animals in Translation by Temple Grandin

2007-08-22T19:54:00.000-06:00

This book is amazing. One would think a book on neuroscience and behavior would be unapproachable, but the prose of this book makes it an easy and enjoyable read.

Temple Grandin is an autistic woman who works designing facilities for the cattle industry. She posits that since she thinks in pictures instead of words, she (and other autistics) think more like animals than other humans do. Her track record would seem to indicate that she's right.

This book gives an excellent insight into the workings of the brain, ranging from inattentional blindness -- why gorillas become invisible at basketball games, through the effects of selective breeding -- frequently psychotic animals, to why we should not consider animals stupid -- they're incredibly smart, just in a different way than humans are. She also gives great advice to pet owners on how they should treat their animals.

One of the key points she makes is regarding hyperspecificity. To animals, and autistics, one red baseball cap is not the same as another. They tend to see the differences when they look at things, whereas normal humans over-generalize.

I was particularly impressed by her description of the "seeking circuit" a portion of the brain that releases dopamine when stimulated that is stimulated by the hint of something we want, but that turns off the moment said thing is seen. Writers should see in this the reason why we don't "show the shark." The hint that something is happening, the unseen danger lurking just out of sight is primally enjoyable, but once we see something in full light, it loses its allure.

Anyone who works or lives with animals should read this book. Likewise people who work with autistics should read it to gain an appreciation for how autistics see the world. Perhaps the overall message is that we should try to see the world through the perspecitves of others.

Anyone else wondering what happened to August?

2007-08-22T18:29:00.000-06:00

Current Project: A short story for Writers of the Future -- due to the anonymity of the contest I won't publish the title or plot elements of this story at this time. Currently approx 1000 words.

So it's more than halfway through August, and I've barely gotten a day's worth of writing done in that time. My official excuse is the birth of my daughter, but even that's not a great excuse for missing deadlines. (I give myself a weekly deadline based on when my writing group meets) Keeping deadlines is one of the most important habits for a young writer to cultivate. Writing is a business, and a writer who chronically misses deadlines isn't likely to be an agent or editor's favorite person to work with. And yes, that matters.

Anyway, I'm taking forever to write this story because it's for WoTF and I'm being more critical than normal. I've just started over on it because I realized my narrative voice was wrong. I came to that conclusion after I talked with my wife about characters, and she could relate to all BUT the POV character. Bad sign. I was pulling back from really getting in the character's head because I plan on treating him worse than any character I've previously written, and it's hard to do horrible things to people you like. (Yes, my characters become real people to me) But worse would be to do horrible things to someone and have no one care because they don't like him.

The Journey of a Thousand Steps...

2007-08-22T17:40:00.000-06:00

I hijacked this from my previous blog (whereon it was the only post since I didn't like that blog provider's layout). The original post date was April 3rd 2007.

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I've been putting off this, my first blog post, until I had something big, wise, and/or profound to say, but I think that defeats the purpose of a blog. Wisdom comes with time, usually crawling up through the cracks of everyday life.

To start, let's introduce me. I am a writer. Yet to be published, but then I haven't tried to be published all that much yet. Three years ago, I made the unsuccessful rounds with my first completed (some fifth or sixth started), novel--an epic fantasy. Life got in the way for a year, and then I began my study of the craft of writing. In the course of a year I read every book I could find on character, plot, viewpoint, setting, etc (some thirty or so books). The result of which: I learned much. I hope in time to share some of my gleanings here. I also learned that my first novel was terribly hackneyed, poorly plotted (by structure--the plot itself is still salvageable), and filled with awkward language. I plan on rewriting it from a blank page in the future. I think it's probably third or fourth in my novel queue right now.

My study of the craft improved the quality of my writing greatly and moved me into position to get one of my other gigs--line editor for Final Redoubt Press. There, I work with veteren game designer Robert J Defendi to produce a line of role playing modules statted for use in the HERO system, d20 System game, Rolemaster, and HARP. My role is to clean up everything Bob sends me and make it publishable. If I don't think it's publishable, I am the one who kills the project.

Like most writers, I have a day job (in addition to my work with Final Redoubt because editing for a small publisher is not the path to take if you want money right now). I work as a chemist in the quality assurance lab for a multinational company. It's good work with great benefits and decent pay, enough to support myself and my family. It also allows me to increase my skills other than chemistry. I am the safety officer for the lab, run the lab logistically since we lost our receptionist, and I'm the first line of IT. And all of that is in addition to my lab work, which admittedly, I don't usually have that much time for with my other duties.

I am married and have one child (two come August). I would go on about them, but it's usually best to withhold such personal information.That's enough for now. But hey, it the first step to adding content.
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My second child was, in fact, born on July 30th. When I posted this originally, I did so with a mood icon of "sick". That was, sadly enough the beginning of 4+ months of feeling like garbage. I think I'm beginning to recover now, though.